By Jacob Brown-yawson

Choosing a lifelong companion is very arduous but rewarding. Everyone want to marry perfect person, but none is perfect. However, we search for ideal person. We really have to marry someone who could be our best soul mate.

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Some of the things we need to look for are;

  1. Commonality factors
  2. set evaluative criteria
  3. Financial consideration
  4. Maturity make-up

Some of the commonality factors are age range, education level, attitudes, career, religion, social status, race and tribal persuasions. One needs to look into these commonality factors, however, it is also prudent to choose someone who has small variations in these factors which are not in tendom to yours. If one is extrovert and the other is introvert, what may happen is that the one who is introvert may become a little bit extrovert and same for the extrovert as well. The one who is stingy may be influenced by the other who is kind positively. Nevertheless, the religion aspect must be common when choosing a life partner. A Christian is expected to marry a Christian, not someone of other religion for the sake of peace and understanding.

Set evaluative criteria, one may come across a number of friends, but to choose one could be determined by set evaluative criteria like nearness, reference group, physical attraction, and compatibility. Those at the urban centres have a wide range of people to choose from because of the population whereas those at the rural areas have less. It is believed that if you choose a person nearer to you it is easy to know him or her well than being distant. Distant relationship is difficult to manage than proximal relationship. For example, if one stays at the urban center and the other rural even though technology can facilitate communication but the tendency of not knowing yourselves well is high. It is easy to get a lifelong companion from your referent group because of the beliefs, affiliation and respectability you have for it. It is vehemently true that people who have mutual physical attraction for themselves most times end up together in marriage. Two potential partners of opposite sex come together based on certain compatible factors such as interests, personality, expectations, values and plans.

Normally, the man should be financially sound or almost sound to embark on this journey. It is believed that the man should take most financial responsibility in marriage, however, women should be financially sound to support their husbands as and when the need arises.  It is also not out-of-place for a woman to support more in marriage depending on her financial capacity.

Maturity is a potent factor when choosing a life partner. Maturity here is not limited to age but mental maturity and being able to rationalize challenges and situations for the betterment of the relationship. People who are not matured jeopardize already established relationship in a split second. One should look at the maturity make-up of the potential partner before accepting or refusing him or her.

In conclusion, I suggest you pray about it before initiating your search because if the Lord does not build the house the builder builds in vain.



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